SulliedWords

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Reverting to a childhood mindset or: How I learned to lower my expectations and enjoy an action movie

Like the rest of cinema obsessed America, I still get tinglings of excitement when whisperings of a good sequel travel on the Hollywood winds. However, years of feeble coattail follow-ups and theatrical disappointments have left me apprehensive of remakes and silver screen successors. So when I heard about a Tron continuation I was both thrilled and chilled. Before I continue, if you've even made it to the end of this sentence, here is the available trailer:

So, what are the details behind Tron Legacy and will it be any good? Disney's endorsement doesn't give me immediate confidence in the project, but at least it's not some unknown production company either. (Disney backed the 1982 version.) Jeff Bridges reprises the character Flynn and I trust Bridges' judgment when accepting a role. The original director Steven Lisberger is taking a producing credit this time around which doesn't say much either way. There's promise when original players come back, (when they weren't under contract to do so), but money can corrupt all men so we won't assume the script is solid gold. However, as writing credits go we could do worse. Lisberger contributes as he did for the original, as well as Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis; both are writers and producers for numerous Lost episodes. The big question is, who's directing?

His name is Joseph Kosinksi and yes, he's a nobody. His background, besides being quite limited, is in commercials and video game trailers, and it's obvious from viewing a few of his projects that he is focused on special effects and CGI. While the game and graphics portfolio makes Kosinksi an appropriate choice for this movie, it leaves little hope for the actors and story. These type of directors lack the skill to get real performances from the stars and would probably rather not deal with people anyway. Human elimination from film has been tried and fails miserably each time. Think Final Fantasy and Beowulf. For sex appeal they've included Olivia Wilde and Serinda Swan (rumored), which only confirms my doubts of this being an actor fueled picture.

The trailer reveals what we can ultimately expect from Tron Legacy: visual effects, explosions, slow motion action and maybe some occasional dialogue. I'm picturing The Matrix with an alternate color scheme.

While I'm not going to pretend the first Tron was an awesome and untouchable film, I still greatly enjoyed it and don't want to see it tainted. Perhaps it's more nostalgia and a respect for pioneering effects that keep my interest in the original, because a current review of it is quite unfavorable. The acting was mediocre then as well and the story was kind of silly. In the end, both Tron pictures will have been visually driven with little regard to much else. But sometimes, that's all we want and just what we need.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Mike Aubrey...Intervention

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Many among us have a legitimate beef with Hitler. He was a vial, anti-Semite, dictator. The man corrupted and stole the lives of millions of men. His legacy is one of fear, sadness, and regret. Of greatest significance in his sustained influence through time, he succeeded in single-handedly spoiling an entire facial hair configuration.

The abbreviated mustache will forever be associated with hatred and genocide and, despite Chaplin's noble comedic, heart warming efforts, can be worn by no other. No one has a more justified anger for Hitler than men with very specific harelips, but even they have accepted that this unique grooming composition is now forfeit.

Despite the universally shunned development of this miniature soup strainer, Mike Aubrey, host of HGTV's Real Estate Intervention, is pushing the limits of acceptable mustachiosity. Aubrey narrowly escapes public ridicule with a slight lower flaring, expanding a few degrees out at the bottom like a trapezoid, but we are not fools. You're only a flick of a wrist away from the Adolf special Aubrey, so grow it out or cut it out.

With so many glorious options for the showcase of masculinity, why can't you choose a less offensive bristly signature? The chops, the goat, the chinstrap, the handlebar, the soul patch. All of these well established choices already make such powerful statements as to your character, interests and disposition. There's no need to mess around with the square haired upper lip, especially if you might scare away the home buying Jewish clientele.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Sure Thing

A soldier may suffer one of a thousand different deaths. Whether he goes out cowered in the foxhole or charging the enemy line, his death will likely be considered honorable. Just for voluntarily donning the uniform, anyone in the military at least possesses a modicum of bravery. Not everyone, however, will meet their end with grace or courageousness. There are over 100,000 accidental deaths in America every year. People fall from ladders, forget basic gun safety, or mix the wrong medications. These people die because they're careless or stupid and their lives were really just a delay of the inevitable. But what about the other kind of accidental deaths, like car crashes or hurricanes? Are there no circumstances that are out of our control or is our death predetermined and inescapable?

Nature may be unpredictable to a degree but it also establishes itself quite well in certain areas of the world. Information on natural disaster frequencies is readily available, so God is not to blame when your Florida home is demolished by a hurricane. Where you make a home is a circumstance well in your control. I may be calling karma into question on this one, but when you construct a wooden house next to a tree that eventually falls on you, this is a vengeful justice.

There are

Image via Wikipedia

things we've become accustomed to that are completely unnatural so it's a little odd when we question why someone dies in a car collision. We can jam pack airbags and safety features throughout our vehicles but we're still needlessly traveling at high speeds in boxes of metal, plastic, rubber and glass. What's worse, obtaining and maintaining a license to drive a car is possibly the least restricted and regulated safety measure put into place in this country. We can all agree that there are plenty of stupid drivers out there and we can all agree that motor vehicles are dangerous, yet over 250 million vehicles actively speed down our American streets and highways. There is no dumb luck when someone dies from a car wreck. It's a risk we knowingly enter into every time we climb in the car.

I don't really believe our deaths are fixed from birth but I also don't believe that the dangers of life can be completely avoidable. Part of experiencing the world is accepting the hazards that accompany it. Take the risk if you value the reward and live the life you want. Your death is only as significant as your life has been.