Newman's Grown

Go get Daddy's wrench, the really big one. Image via Wikipedia

While Vanessa has nightmares about having a huge baby, like a full grown adult emerging from her womb, I am more concerned about our upcoming parenting skills. I'm not worried about our ability to physically care for the kid, like if we're feeding it too much or too little, or if the last time I dropped her was one time too many. (If our baby is stubborn and as literally thick headed as we are then she'll be fine.)

I just wonder about the lessons we will teach, the rules we'll advise, the interests we will encourage, and what "end-result" person we will create. Each person grows on their own as well, and a parents' influence is only so strong but, whether through genetics or subconscious mimicry, we all end up with some similar behaviors as our parents, and every parent is held in some way responsible for the adult version of the children they raise.

Raising a kid is one of those problems though that has a million variables. Knowing the right combination to produce the perfect person is impossible, plus the definition of the perfect person is relative to who you ask. The government wants people who pay their taxes, don't dispute legislation, and speed just often enough to pay extra money on infrequent traffic violations. Big business wants consumers that are susceptible to marketing, brand recognition, have expendable income, buy impulsively, and don't actually read or understand the nutritional facts or ingredients listed. Parents even vary on what they want their children to become. Some want them to be kind to others and generally likable. Others want them to be leaders or accomplish something outstanding. A complete package, however, is rarely achievable. Each lesson or trait usually comes at a sacrifice.

If they are too smart they are often socially awkward. Too kind, then they get pushed around and used. Too bold, they become pricks. Too independent, lonely. Too family oriented, unsuccessful. Successful, selfish. It may sound like a cop-out but I've heard parents say they just want their kids to be happy. Maybe that is the best that you can hope for. After all, I don't mind if our daughter doesn't become a famous artist, or invent force fields. I believe very few people are actually unique or influential enough to be immortalized. I don't mind if our daughter isn't so bright or beautiful. There's tons of humdrum people out there doing just fine and raising children of their own. I don't mind if she likes to demolish parking meters when she's drunk because I made her watch "Cool Hand Luke" too many times.

I'll love her all the same, and if she's happy, then so am I.

Maybe parenting won't be so hard after all. I'll revise this statement when she's a teenager.