4-n aid

Image by K2D2vaca via Flickr

Well it's the 4th of July, America's birthday, and even North Korea is stepping up to help us celebrate our independence! It's a really sweet demonstration, launching ballistic bottle rockets out over the East Sea, though Alabama roadside stands carry stronger firepower.

It's not the first time they've joined in on the ceremonies but they have some large shoes to fill in regards to foreign congratulatory gestures. I'm speaking of the giant French kicks worn by our Lady Liberty. In related news, welcome back to her hat! After much anticipation people can once again climb around in the green giant's head though, as much fun as it is to play brain parasite, that's not what this day is about.

No, Independence day is about helping China's economy, buying up as many miniature American flags, pool toys, and explosives as possible. Through pro-American propaganda we can help circulate the dollar and yuan like a sparkling Saxon. But China is not the only country who will profit this year. Anheuser-Busch continues to be one of the top companies benefiting from Independence Day celebrations and, thanks to inBev's purchase of America's largest brewery, more US paychecks will go to this Brazilian and Belgian based company.

Make no mistake. I'm no poster child for patriotism and I don't check the labels of my shirts for manufacturer location. I just enjoy thinking a little deeper about the irony of situations like this. I'll probably continue to buy Toyota in the future but maybe just for today I can put a little effort into displaying my American pride.

I'll eat too much, express an air of undeserved superiority, and maybe drive home intoxicated, but if I'm drunk on Yuengling the cops are sure to be more forgiving. Anything else would be unAmerican.

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